Evaluating Our Communication Skills

This week we were given the opportunity to take an online quiz, testing our verbal aggressiveness and communication anxiety. We then passed these quizzes along to two friends/family/colleagues to be evaluated by them as well. Here is what I discovered:

I absolutely, positively HATE public speaking. I get extremely nervous when I have to speak in front of others and have had panic attacks that make me faint in the past. Even in small groups with people that I talk to every day, I hate speaking. It makes no sense in my mind and no matter how much I try to convince myself that it's an irrational fear and try to psych myself into thinking that I want to speak and that I will love it...ultimately I freak out. So with that being said, I scored myself very high in the communication anxiety quiz. My husband, who also completed the quiz for me, also scored me high. I think, however, that is because he is aware of my fear. The director of my school, however, scored me in the mild range. She is not aware of my fear of public speaking, so I think that this fact wasn't present to influence her. This just shows that my nervousness does not show when speaking at staff meetings, director conventions, etc. I must do an excellent job of masking my fear!

The second quiz, verbal aggressiveness, I scored at the low end of the moderate range in all three evaluations. I was honest with myself on this, and my husband and director were honest as well. The scores were only one number apart which proves to me that this quiz must be fairly accurate. It also opens my eyes to the fact that I need to work to bring my verbal aggression down into the low range and hopefully, one day, into the none category, as I do not want to ever purposefully disrespect someone.

I think that this was a great exercise for me to partake in and really value the information that I gained from completing it. I hope that others have found this experience to be as eye opening and rewarding.

Communication & Diversity

This week we are learning more about communication, especially as it relates to culture and diversity. We are all familiar with the golden rule: Do unto others as we would have them do unto us. However, this week I learned a new rule, called the platinum rule. The platinum rule states to treat others the way that THEY would like to be treated. This really made me think, because growing up with the golden rule, I had never thought of it that way before. What a great concept though! Not everyone would like to be treated the way that I am treated. Vegetarians would not want to be taken to dinner at a steakhouse to celebrate their birthday. Classical music fans would hate being given tickets to see Lady Gaga as a gift. When working with, and communicating with people of different cultures, we shouldn't treat them the way that we want to be treated, but the way that they would want to be treated.

So when thinking about my communication skills, I have to say that they are different depending on who I'm taking to and what background they are from. I believe it's important to have the skill set to change how we do things in order to accommodate others. For example, when families come into my school for a tour, I immediately introduce myself and shake their hand. From my studies about different cultures I know that individuals from the Middle East do not shake hands with their right hands. Therefore, I am aware of this fact and offer my left hand when I meet with them. I also understand that in many other cultures the women do not discuss money. So when speaking about tuition prices, while I speak to both parents, I give the written pricing information to the male figure because that makes them the most comfortable.

Overall, I think that it's important to be able to fully accommodate and welcome families and children of all cultures and backgrounds. Understanding different cultures and being aware of differences really helps to be able to communicate most effectively.

The Importance of Verbal & Non-Verbal Communication

This week we are studying about different types of communication, both verbal and non-verbal. Our assignment this week was to watch a TV show that we've never seen before with the sound off. We were to make observations regarding the communication, and then go back and watch the show with the sound off. Here are my observations from this assignment:

TV Show: The Blacklist
Observations:

• There was a plane crash and appeared to have only a few survivors
• A man appeared to be interrogating another man, based on what appeared to be yelling and angry facial expressions
• Men in suits are seen escorting another man in a suit to what appears to be a secret holding cell. It looks like the man speaking to the "criminal" is sympathizing with him or feels bad for him
• There is a concerned girl in the office whose face appears to not understand what is going on
• There is a panicked man on the phone who appears to be fidgeting, in a hurry, and talking with his hands
• The man who appeared to be interrogated was taken/kidnapped with a bag over his head making me wonder if he is a terrorist and had anything to do with the plane crash
• A different man was watching the news coverage of the plane crash then walked to the door with a gun. He immediately put the gun away and let the person in the door. Based on the visitors facial expressions they are concerned about the plane crash.

What I learned when I watched the show with the sound on: 

• The man who I thought was being interrogated was actually not, he was just explaining to a fellow worker what happened. He also is not a terrorist; the flashback of the person being kidnapped was not him.
• The man who was being held in the top secret cell was actually not friends with the people escorting him. He was speaking smugly to them about how his girlfriend was worth it.
• The girl who I initially thought was concerned about the plane crash was actually concerned about covering it up
• The man on the phone, who appeared to be panicking, was not significant at all and was only in the background
• The man with the gun, who I thought was concerned about the plane crash, was actually responsible for it

I liked this assignment because it was out of the ordinary and a nice break from "typical schoolwork." I also found it a very meaningful assignment. This assignment really highlighted the importance of non-verbal communication such as facial expressions, hand gestures, etc. While I gained a lot from paying attention to only the non-verbal communication, I learned more from the verbal communication. I learned that you can make assumptions based on non-verbal communication that turn out to be completely false. Therefore, both non-verbal and verbal communication are equally important. 

My Mother, An Effective Communicator

My momma, Traci, is the most effective communicator that I know. She has charisma, she's funny, and everyone just seems to listen when she talks. When I think about her particular behaviors when communicating, several things come to mind. The first is that she has excellent eye contact and body language. She maintains eye contact the entire time that she is communicating with someone and really expresses interest in what she's saying, as well as what the other person(s) is saying. Another thing that she does, that I feel is effective, is that her tone and language are very positive. She has a very pleasant tone when she's communicating with people and is enthusiastic about what she is discussing. Not only that, but she fully explains things, helping people to understand why they are being asked to do something a certain way. My mom also allows other people to talk. She doesn't dominate the conversation; she says what she needs to say and then allows people to express themselves without interrupting. She listens and respects what they say, taking other people's opinions into consideration. I think that all of these behaviors makes her a very effective communicator and helps her succeed in her job as a pediatric nurse manager.

I feel that all of the behaviors that my mom possesses regarding communication are productive. She is a very effective communicator and I admire that about her. She is a great leader and her staff respects her very much, something that I hope that I can achieve with my staff as well. I would be very happy to possess all of the communication behaviors that she holds and strive to better myself on this subject daily.

Professional Hopes and Goals

When I think about my future work with children and families from diverse backgrounds, I hope that I continue to use everything that I have learned from this course. I hope that I remember all that I learned about microaggressions and the power that our words carry. I hope that I remain sensitive to others cultures including their language, religion, and parenting styles. And I hope that I can continue to educate my staff on this topic so that we are sensitive to diversity and embrace and accept everyone for who they are.

One goal that I would like to set for the early childhood education field, with regard to diversity, equity, and social justice, is to continue moving in the right direction. As Louise Derman-Sparks said, "the passion is in the vision." I think it's important that all ECE professionals remember what that vision is and educate their staff on topics such as diversity, microaggressions, and the importance of valuing culture and incorporating it into the classroom.

This course has definitely been my favorite thus far. I have really enjoyed learning about all of the topics that we've covered and discovering more about myself. I thank everyone for your support in discussion boards and blog posts and wish you all continued success on your journey throughout this program.

Welcoming Families From Around the World

    Let's imagine a scenario: I am the director of a preschool and just enrolled a new family. This family, the McConnell's, are from Scotland and their 4 year old daughter, Kellin, will be joining the Pre-Kindergarten class. To prepare myself to be culturally responsive towards the McConnell's, I will do the following:

1. Learn more about Scotland - the typical religion of the country, typical parenting styles/ways children are viewed, how their education system works/what they view as typical with regards to education, common diet, government structure, popular music, etc.

2. Inform the Pre-K teachers of the child's culture and educate them on the facts that I learned about Scotland and ways that they can help Kellin feel welcomed into their classroom.

3. Ensure that their culture is reflected in the classroom so that the child feels valued (ex. pictures of Scotland on the wall, pictures of men in kilts with bagpipes reflected with the rest of the multicultural pictures, a Celtic CD in listening center, etc.

4. Invite and encourage the parents to become a part of the PTA program that we have at our school.

5. Strive to incorporate celebrations for days that Kellin would celebrate were she still living in Scotland, such as May Day.

I believe that by incorporating the five things listed above, the McConnell family, and Kellin, would feel more welcomed. Having a knowledge about their country and their culture would hopefully be appreciated and make them feel accepted and valued. Incorporating specific cultural items and celebrations into the classroom would help Kellin feel more at home and accepted. And by encouraging the McConnell family to become active in the PTA, it would be my hope that they would truly feel welcomed into our community and our school.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

When thinking about bias, prejudice, and oppression there is one incident that sticks out in my mind. This is not an incident that I personally experienced but one that was described to me in detail by a very close friend who happens to be African American. Trina, my friend, told me a story that occurred when she was in first grade. Her best friend at the time was a Caucasian girl named Karen. Trina and Karen were inseparable at the time and always played together.  One day Karen came to school and passed out birthday invitations to all of her friends. Trina waited and waited but never received one. Fast forward to Monday and all of the girls in her class were talking about how great Karen's birthday party. Trina walked up to Karen and asked her why she didn't get invited to her party, since she's her best friend. Karen said "My mommy said you couldn't come because you're black." Trina recalled this as the first time that she realized that there was a difference between black and white people and feeling like being black is bad.

This incident diminished equity by demonstrating blatant racism. Not only was the parent racist, but taught her young child those feelings as well. For me, seeing Trina in person recall this story, it was very emotional. I, as a Caucasian woman, have never felt those extreme feelings of prejudice before and I could tell by Trina's emotions and tone of voice how much this incident still impacts her. She made a point to say that to this day she will never forget that incident and that it still hurts her feelings and makes her feel less than. Personally I can not imagine feeling the way that she felt.

In order to change this situation into an opportunity for greater equity, I think that the situation would have to be completely different. If perhaps the mother allowed Trina to come and talked about their differences in skin color but taught Karen that everyone is the same on the inside, then maybe there would be an opportunity for greater equity.