The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

When thinking about bias, prejudice, and oppression there is one incident that sticks out in my mind. This is not an incident that I personally experienced but one that was described to me in detail by a very close friend who happens to be African American. Trina, my friend, told me a story that occurred when she was in first grade. Her best friend at the time was a Caucasian girl named Karen. Trina and Karen were inseparable at the time and always played together.  One day Karen came to school and passed out birthday invitations to all of her friends. Trina waited and waited but never received one. Fast forward to Monday and all of the girls in her class were talking about how great Karen's birthday party. Trina walked up to Karen and asked her why she didn't get invited to her party, since she's her best friend. Karen said "My mommy said you couldn't come because you're black." Trina recalled this as the first time that she realized that there was a difference between black and white people and feeling like being black is bad.

This incident diminished equity by demonstrating blatant racism. Not only was the parent racist, but taught her young child those feelings as well. For me, seeing Trina in person recall this story, it was very emotional. I, as a Caucasian woman, have never felt those extreme feelings of prejudice before and I could tell by Trina's emotions and tone of voice how much this incident still impacts her. She made a point to say that to this day she will never forget that incident and that it still hurts her feelings and makes her feel less than. Personally I can not imagine feeling the way that she felt.

In order to change this situation into an opportunity for greater equity, I think that the situation would have to be completely different. If perhaps the mother allowed Trina to come and talked about their differences in skin color but taught Karen that everyone is the same on the inside, then maybe there would be an opportunity for greater equity.