It is a common fact that children are very blunt little people. They don't really have a filter yet because they don't understand what is appropriate and acceptable to talk about and what is not. Children will talk openly about peeing, pooping, vaginas, penis'...really whatever is relevant and being talked about at that stage in their life. It is our jobs, as parents and educators, to teach children the appropriate time and place that things should be talked about. We don't want to scold children into thinking that anything is taboo to talk about because we want children to trust us and talk to us openly and honestly.
A few months ago, when visiting my family that lives out of town, I took my niece, Jayda, who is four years old, to the store to pick out a birthday present for her mom. As we were walking around Target Jayda noticed a significantly overweight woman and said, very loudly, "Look Cassie, that lady is not a pretty princess like you. She is just too fat!" Out of pure humiliation and panic I immediately snapped at Jayda and said "no ma'am, we do NOT say things like that! That is just ugly to say and not okay, do you understand me?" I mean, it was a pure reaming right there in the middle of Target. Looking back at the incident and reflecting on what I am learning about anti-bias education, I can see that I did not handle the situation as effectively as I should have. I think that it is important to teach anti-bias education to children so that they are familiar and comfortable with different kinds of people, thus eliminating the need to point out differences so bluntly.
Cassie, thanks for sharing! I think it's difficult when you're in the heat of the moment to respond in the best way possible unless you prepare yourself for it! And how often do we really do that?! I think it was a lesson learned, and you made it into a positive. Maybe later you could have apologized for snapping at her and then had a discussion about what she noticed and how it can hurt feelings. I can relate, and I think we all make those mistakes. We're human!
ReplyDeleteHi Cassie! This is such a common thing among young children. I think with the emphasis on beauty and health on television and other media outlets allows children to create their own views on being “pretty” or “ugly”. I find this very common with young girls. At a young age, many of them look up into social figures they commonly see on TV. I think early childhood educators should also find time in discussing how each person have unique traits that make them beautiful whether they are fat or skinny. Thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteCassie, thanks for sharing. I think it is hard in the situation to know exactly what to do because I feel we are more concerned for the hurt the person offended must feel - and rightly so. If we simply attempted to walk over later to the person after gently reminding the child not to speak out loud, the person offended may not take it very well.
ReplyDeleteI know personally that talking about these kind of situations at home before they happen is ideal but you never know what kids are going to say! So I think reprimanding her and then letting her know at home why how and what she said was inappropriate is probably exactly what I would have done to.